maddrew - reinvent & unleash

For the entry before, ”Maddrew’s Confession”, this year is actually ending with some last minute feel good factor. I’m glad that it turned out this way. Whether it’s within my control or not, I will soon find out. You would think the sombre mood in the entry before sort of suggests that I am not really jumping on a trampoline under the bright summer.

First of all, I got a place in a university this February. Doing it part time as the final year, I hope the result will take me to where I want to go.

I suppose the storm has settled down a bit, clearing away what were in the way. I can now see clearly what I want in nearly everything and in fact, throughout the period, I was more grounded than I would ready to admit. All this while I knew what I wanted but was blinded by the bustling city. I’m alright now, do not be alarmed. Infactuation, however can be really bothersome. After a year blindingly looking for what is now a diminishing light, slowing down is the best thing to do and hopefully something worth fighting for will turn up next year. Everyone has their moments, it’s my turn now. And for that, Jes, I know what I went through cannot be compared to your circumstances but we both know inside, we share the same hopes and get dissapointted countless times as a result. Things will be alright.

For the past few months, Chen Lu was there for me and she will continue to be there as long as she remains in London. When rebuilding a life in a different place, it can be lonely at times and having those people that you get to be friends with that makes the difference. She is excited about finding the right man as she searches in every unturned stone, something that we both find hilarious at times.  

Next year is not going to be a roller coaster ride as I previously imagined. It will be more like those big transparent plastic balls you get inside and roll down the hill. It’s called Zorbing which you get to do in Brighton, south of England. So there will certainly be more fun, more adrenaline, more headaches, more silly laughters, and more butterflies in the stomach.

As for next year, The Times has some pretty good predicitions.

AQUARIUS

JANUARY 19-FEBRUARY 17

“On learning that Jupiter’s move into Aquarius on January 5 brings a year of discovery, expansion and good fortune, you’d think you can kick back and relax. But it’s not that simple. Before the new comes, the old must go, sometimes swiftly and bewilderingly. Certainly, events around the Aquarius eclipsed New Moon on January 26 will make you wonder what’s lucky. Actually, this is just eliminating those habits and arrangements that are so ingrained that you wouldn’t imagine they could hold you back. Learn from this and when changes – in others’ lives, around you or in your own circumstances – shake things up, you’ll recognise them as an invitation to explore. Being out and about meeting people and considering new ideas actually lifts your spirits so much that you also find greater joy in existing relationships and elements of your life that you’d previously taken for granted”.

How can I not love London? There was a time when I thought you were an empty meaningless place where some people drift about. I was foolish to doubt your charms. There are lots of fond memories that sealed my heart in this wonderful city.  

Though sometimes not in the best of spirit, I would never trade off whatever I’ve experienced up till today for anything else in the world. Not money, not living the familiar route of a man’s life and certainly not clinging to the comfort zone.

Happy New Year everyone.

~ by maddrew on December 28, 2008.